“To the Editor of The Landmark.
Sir:—A few days ago you gave four or five ways for pronouncing Czolgosz,
culled from as many papers. Now, there cannot be a half dozen proper
ways to pronounce one name; and, as all the papers quoted gave a
different way, it is barely possible that all were wrong, and I
believe that they were all wrong.
“Now, Mr. Editor, if you know how
to pronounce this jawbone-breaker, please tell us at once, or something
serious will surely happen; for it is painful to see the people
going about with one side of the face screwed up trying to get the
name right. It really seems as if you could pronounce it better
if you were standing on your head, but that is manifestly inconvenient.
So, do come to our rescue before we lose our mental equilibrium.
Be sure you get it right, or our condition will be worse when, after
learning another way to pronounce it, we should find it to be wrong.
A relapse in such a case as this must certainly terminate fatally.
“Yours in deep distress,
There are some subjects an editor
hesitates to approach. This is one of them. The Landmark does not
pretend to be an authority on Polish—when the word is spelled with
a capital “p” and the “o” is pronounced as in “Rome.” Under other
conditions, it might have something decisive to say. But if we knew
how to pronounce Czolgosz, we are sure our correspondent would not
be able to repeat it after us. We have it on good authority that
this same “Populi” went to a certain foreigner in our city and got
that gentleman to pronounce the name of the assassin as it would
be pronounced in Poland. The foreign gentleman did this as often
as was required, but “Populi” was found wanting. His tongue clave
to the roof of his mouth; his ordinarily active jawbone refused
to work; his imitative powers were paralyzed. If we were disposed
to tackle this problem, we might advance the claims of “Chullgoash;”
but our disposition, our instinct, is to flee. Give us something
easy, like “Roosevelt,” whose name is pronounced by most of the
authorities differently from his own pronunciation of it, poor fellow!